Saturday, March 17, 2012

Me, Myself, I

One of my New Year's resolutions was to document personal insights about myself. I have only half kept this resolution; I have pondered about different things that I react to, think about, talk about, but I haven't actually written it down on paper. We'll call this post entry 1 towards this resolution.

I wanted to be a teacher since elementary school. At least, I remember thinking my third grade class, 'I want to grow up and be a teacher.' Needless to say, I declared my major in education at BYU-Idaho and now have a degree in English Education. (Because of state requirements, I have not switched my Idaho teaching certificate to Kentucky because we don't know where we are going to end up in life. Who knows if it would be worth the time and money to take extra tests and pay crazy fees?) So I am tutoring at Huntington Learning Center and substitute teaching.

I think people's favorite adjective to describe me is "sweet." While that is very sweet of them to say, I'm realizing as an educator you cannot always be "sweet." There is a time for niceness and a time for firmness. I can't believe after my degree is all said and done I am just now finding this out. :P Lately, I've been feeling like my personality isn't fit for a teacher. Because I am so patient, I can easily get walked over. I've been feeling like people don't respect me because they can see I'll be lenient. I had a kind of crazy experience this past Tuesday, and all but fell apart to Carl.

Long story short, after a long (and tearful) conversation I realized that a teaching career is still for me. I don't think anyone is totally made out for their career choice even if it is their dream job. Life will always throw that curve ball and keep you on your toes. For me, this career will help me not let people walk over me. Just because I'm a nice person doesn't mean I can't stand up for myself. People will still like me even if I am firm sometimes.

Good discovery, eh? :)

FUNNY QUOTE FROM CARL FROM TUESDAY NIGHT: "You always decide how you act? Really? So Tuesday morning you woke up and said, 'Tonight I want to have a good cry. Just a good, uncontrollable, nonsensical cry. Twenty, thirty minutes tops. And then question my entire career choice and rethink my life. Okay! I'm ready to seize the day! Break!'" :)

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